Bass Line

I might be wrong, but I think most people have that inner bass line that tells them who they are and what they are willing to accept. They don’t seek permission. They don’t take polls  to see if they are living their life in a way that’s socially compatible with the majority of other people. And while Litmus tests may come from time to time, they mostly live, within reason, by their own lights.

My light is more like one of Edison’s original models. Flickering, unreliable and given to surprising, but unsteady flashes of both brilliance and darkness.  I don’t always know how to live by it myself.

Am I more tired than I’m supposed to be, is my house less organized than somebody elses would be in a similar position. Am I lazy or do I do better than the circumstances would have dictated? Am I more neurotic than I should be or am I remarkable in some way for having managed to come this far?  I question it constantly and I often don’t know where I stand relative to anything else. I exist in a sort of continuous feeling of social sensory deprivation.  As if I have utterly no context for what I’m doing…and I don’t I suppose I will ever.  The situation is too unique.  But I would give a lot to be one of those people who feels sure of the ground they walk on.

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3 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Rhonda

    I would like to meet one of these people, but to be honest, I don’t think they actually exist, they are saying the same things about you!! :)

    November 14th, 2010

  2. Danielle

    Sounds like my life and thoughts! Again your not alone! Great post :)

    February 10th, 2011

  3. admin


    February 10th, 2011

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