Navel-Gazing


I was thinking about belly buttons this morning. I swear to you that I do not spend excessive amounts of time in contemplation of my navel. A couple of my kids do however. They are overly concerned with their belly buttons in my opinion.

One son has questioned me repeatedly and intensely about why they they look the way they do. He does not care for his and he wants some answers! I have gently suggested that when he is older he could get himself a little belly button plastic surgery and no one would be any the wiser. In saying this, I have NO idea if they offer such a thing, but by then it will be the problem of him and his therapist and I’ll be home free.

His brother exhibits the same dissatisfaction with his little baby button (our name for the device). But one day when he was asking me once again why his looked the way it does, I was a little whacked out in my mental state (it’s a pretty common occurrence).

“Mom, why does it have this line around it?”
“Oh, that’s the line from the stitches where they reattached it.”
“What?!”
“Yours came off once.”
“What?! When?!”
Oh, don’t worry. You were still in the NICU at the time. It was loose and it just popped right off one day. All the nurses and doctors ran in there. They found it and sewed it back on. It was Emergency, Life-Saving Belly Button Reattachment Surgery. You’re ok now.”
Child is kind of clutching his stomach in a paranoid way now and moaning.
“What’s the matter?
Child is now kind of huddled close to me and shedding nervousness.

It’s wrong to do this to my kids I’m sure. But in my defense, they do a lot of things to me that are wrong too. And as I pointed out to my mother when she objected, being raised by me has bent them in exactly the same way, so they’ll be ok.

What?

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2 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Rhonda

    someone has to keep the therapists in business right?

    November 24th, 2010

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