That’s what it’s like to live with lots of kids. Ashton Kutcher and his crew have got nothing on these people.  Their plots may not be as elaborate, but they manage to make up for it with their determination, commitment and relentless dedication.

One of their favorite techniques is to ask me a question without having ANY interest at all in the answer. Any. At All.  They get me good on this one. Me being the chronic over-explainer that I am.  And they all do it, even the baby, who has excellent powers of observation.  Seriously, they have already stopped listening before they have even finished asking the question.

…And knowing this, I answer anyway. Often, while I am carefully searching my brain for just the right words to phrase an explanation in a way that is accessible to them and appropriately tailored to their individual developmental level, all the while trying to recall if there have been any recent personal or historical events that I can ground my example in so as to make it more relevant to them and thereby…the Golf Pro will say “You know they’re not listening to you, right?”  Huh? Wha?  And it’s true. They are already engaged in a heady argument about who touched who. Arrrrggggghhhhhhh! I have been Punked. Again.  They are Charlie Brown and I have turned me into a Peanut Parent.   “WHAH WAH WHAH WHAH WHAH WHAH WAH WAH.”  That is the sound of my voice in their head. Who does stuff like that?!

They do. And when they do, it is like living with 6 of the worst college roommates ever…

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